It Is What It Is.

“It is what it is.” Those five little words are often as hard for me to swallow as a mouthful of hot peppers. By nature, nurture, or both, I am often the last one standing when it comes to a battle of circumstances, problems, or hardship. So today, I’m once again needing to work on the DBT skill of “radical acceptance.”

It seems my psychiatrist is concerned about the negative impact of my re-occurring trauma-related nightmares and disrupted sleep patterns which returned after he discontinued two medications. He recalls that these sleep problems have caused debilitating emotional/mental consequences in the past. So he directed me to start the prescriptions again.

I nodded my head, but internally, I dug in my heels. I know he believes the benefits of the medications outweigh the side effects. But I’m tired and dizzy during the day on the medicine and I wasn’t convinced. Could I find a way to accept his expertise over my feelings? I wasn't so sure. So I went home and sat down with a DBT “Radical Acceptance” worksheet.

Among other things, the exercise required me to check my facts about this situation. I did. And as I reviewed the past year and a half of DBT diary cards, I saw a direct correlation between not sleeping well and dangerously diminished coping abilities, mood, and emotional regulation.  

Another step on the worksheet was to say out loud what I have to accept and repeat it until it seemed more real. I also practiced relaxing and calming my body while imagining what I have to accept which, after a while, made the whole thing seem like less of a big deal.

By the end of the exercise, on a scale of zero to five (not accepting/denial to completely accepting/peaceful), I’d moved from a zero to a two. Better. Not peaceful, but better. So tonight when I take my pills, I’m hoping they’ll be a little easier to swallow.