"Mustache Moment"

A few days ago I wrote about a DBT skill useful for coping with distress. The acronym I.M.P.R.O.V.E. (Imagery, Meaning, Prayer, Relaxation, One thing at a time, Vacation, and Encouragement) includes the concept of taking a mini-vacation from tasks and responsibilities. No, this isn’t the kind of vacation that calls for luggage. It’s simply taking a few moments to approach life with playfulness, childlike whimsy, and an uninhibited sense of fun.

Until last week, I hadn’t tried this skill at all. That’s because, when problems and crises arise, I tend to distract myself from whatever is bothering me by buckling down and getting to work. Sublimation works for me. It helps to shift my focus outward to an activity. But playing? In the middle of a distressing situation? I wasn’t so sure it would help. Even more importantly, I didn’t think I could do it.

That is, until one of my grandkids left a fake mustache on the kitchen counter where my husband, Fred, found it last Monday and stuck it on an orange. I’d been starting each morning down in the dumps for a few days, bothered by nightmares and a situation with one of our grown kids.

That morning, I faced my day ready to do battle with depressing thoughts by being mindful, distracting myself, and radical acceptance. Instead, I saw the orange wearing a mustache and I laughed.

Two can play at this game, I thought, and moved it to the bathroom mirror.

What followed that week, were interspersed moments of silliness, with the mustache disappearing for a day or so, then showing up in surprising places—the ceiling in our bedroom, a pair of Fred’s pants, my laptop screen, the toilet lid. Each discovery and concealment invoked laughter and served as a little “vacation” from day-to-day responsibilities.

As is usually the case, the crisis eventually passed. And I had coped--thanks, in part, to an overall reduction in my stress level as a result of a bit of laughing and playing. That, and a stick-on mustache from the dollar store.