Mindfulness, Right Here, Right Now

"Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different, enjoying the pleasant without holding onto it when it changes (which it will), and being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won't.)" -- James Baraz

DBT emphasizes the importance of mindfulness (as opposed to multi-tasking).  For most of my life, I believed it was better to be able to do many things at once -- such as talk on the phone in one hand, cut up a banana for breakfast with the other, open the screen door with my foot to let the dog go outside, turn off the porch light with my elbow, all the while thinking about paying the electric bill.
 
During my years of working as a public relations and communications specialist, I was richly rewarded for this ability. Steady pay increases and company awards reinforced the notion that it was admirable to spend each moment doing many things at once: ordering catering online for a special event while checking messages on my phone while signaling to another co-worker to hand a file to me while planning the 2:00 PM press conference.
 
A concept called "neuroplasticity"(brains physically change according to experiences) increased my multi-tasking skills as years went on. In other words, doing many things at the same time enabled me to do increasingly more things simultaneously.
 
I now think if someone had done a P.E.T. (positon emissions tomography) scan of my brain at the time, the images of electrical activity inside my head would have looked ablaze. Had I myself seen the picture, I wouldn't have wondered why my fists were always clenched, my thoughts raced all night, my heart pounded, and my anxiety attacks would not quit.

Today, however, I practice being mindful. Throughout my day, I gently and compassionately nudge my state of mind to a greater awareness of myself and my surroundings right here, right now. Whatever I am doing, I try to do it with my full attention and involve all five senses. When I  chop carrots for dinner, I chop carrots. When I wash my face at night, I wash my face. When I play with my grandchildren, I play. You get the idea.

Sometimes I am mindful. Many times I am not. But I continue to practice and remind myself that because of neuroplasticity, my mindful experiences are building new connections in my brain. It will become easier and more natural as time goes on.

Practicing the DBT skill of mindfulness over the past year has produced noticeable changes in me. Friends recently remarked at a dinner I'd cooked and served to them that "I was different." They appreciated that I lingered peacefully between serving courses to give my full attention to our conversation. That dinner was unrushed as I savored each bite. That I did not interrupt but focused on each person as he or she talked.

Right here, right now as I'm writing this, I am pausing occasionally to become aware of my body for a moment. If I am taking shallow breaths, I breathe more deeply, slowly, rhythmically. If my shoulders are tense, I drop them. If my face is tight, I open my jaw. 
I am now aware that I am hungry, so I'll stop writing for now and go eat breakfast. And while I eat breakfast, I will eat breakfast.