Princesses Aren't What They Used to Be

 

"Let it Go" from "Frozen

 

One of the DBT skills I use a lot is “letting it go,” which involves accepting that “things are the way they are” at any given moment. So, lately, I’ve been humming the Oscar-winning song, “Let it Go” from the Disney movie “Frozen” as a reminder to myself.
 

The character Elsa belts out what many have called a song of empowerment and choosing to be who you are. Taking a look at the lyrics, though, I don’t think the meaning is that simple. I see other themes, too—all of which are highly relatable to me and bring the song even closer to home.

The song begins with Elsa experiencing isolation, fear of the loss of self-control, and anger. “The snow blows white on the mountain tonight. Not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I’m the queen. The wind is howling like the swirling storm inside. Couldn’t keep it in. Heaven knows I try.”
 

I get it, Elsa. I, too, cannot number the times I’ve struggled with wanting to bottle up my anger or just run away and hide somewhere until things “blow over.”
 

Then there are the deeply entrenched beliefs taught to her by her father.  “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.” It's called internal conflict and I believe we all have it--much of it, as it was for Elsa, the result of deeply held childhood beliefs and distorted views.
 

And in her foot-stamping declaration of "I don't care what people say" and “the cold never bothered me anyway,” I hear echoes of myself saying “I don’t care” and “you’ll never see me cry” when I really do care, I am bothered, and I feel like crying. To numb it or deny it is simply bravado on my part. In other words, I'm kidding myself.  Lately, what I'm doing instead is to allow myself to be present in the moment. If that means I care, cry, or am bothered, so be it. It rises, it falls, it dissipates... and I can handle it.  


From my perspective, I think the songwriters produced lyrics which depict a balanced, realistic view of human nature—powerful and frightened, sad and joyful, strong and vulnerable. The result is that by the time Elsa gets to the chorus’ crescendo, I understand that “letting go” comes from a flawed state of being human and “letting go” is not a perfect process. With that in mind, her declaration of “I’m free!” is all the more powerful to me.
 

I have to say, even as a little girl, I’ve never wished to be a princess living in a beautiful castle with a handsome prince. But Elsa? Now that’s a girl I understand.